Round 3 - Loading Day #2

I stuffed myself yesterday with all sorts of crap - Burger King for breakfast, a Big Mac & 10 piece chicken nuggets for lunch, ham & potato soup with sour cream and cheese for dinner, and 3 old fashioned glazed donuts and a big bowl of caramel corn for "snack" at night.  I woke up this morning STILL full from the day before and made myself eat 2 sourdough pancakes and six sausages for breakfast.  Then I weighed myself.  Oh Lord, I almost started crying.  I weighed 168 lbs (up 5 lbs from where I stabilized at right before Christmas, and up 3 lbs from where I was yesterday morning).  I am not "loading" today - I don't care how hungry I get this week.  I'm not doing it.  I got down to 160 a few days after my last dose of drops and then went back up and hovered between 161-163 lbs and then finally stabilized at 163.  And then Christmas pushed me up to 165 and then yesterday...let's not even talk about yesterday. 

I'm going to re-set my weight loss ticker and forget about this horrible day.  I'm going to eat normally today and drink lots of coffee with creamer to help boost my fat intake but I'm NOT loading.  Oh I hope for great news on the scale Sunday morning.  I hope that I'm down into the 150's in a week or so.

Round 3 Begins!

Today is my first day of round three.  I took my drops this morning and forced myself to eat some breakfast even though I felt full.  I ate a huge fattening lunch even though I was still sick from breakfast, and now I'm about to make a big pot of coffee and have tons of creamer in it.  I know better than to say that I wish I was on phase 2 though - I know that in a few days I'll wish for pasta and bread again.

It snowed for basically the first time this year here in Denver.  It snowed one other time, but only about an inch and nothing stuck anywhere but in the grass.  They are predicting anywhere from 5 to 10 inches through today.  I know that doesn't sound like a lot to most people (especially my friends and fam in Coeur d'Alene who have had a ton of snow this year) but you should see the way some people drive around here.  It's retarded. 

Getting Ready for Round 3

I'm a little nervous about starting my 3rd round - I remember how tough this diet is, but I'm not sure that I actually REMEMBER.  Kinda like how you remember how horrible having a baby is but don't really REMEMBER until you're doing it again.  Regardless, I'm excited to try to get this last 18-19 lbs off.  I think I'm up about 1.5 lbs from where I stabilized at the end of round 2, but that's not bad considering that we just got through the holidays.  1.5 lbs is NOTHING compared to the damage that I've created from past holiday feasts!  I'm flip-flopping between thinking I'll just do a 3 week round and see what happens with it - or forcing myself to just push through until the whole thing is over with.  Technically I could lose about 28 lbs to be down to 135 lbs which is where I would LOVE to be at, but I'm not sure if that will happen or not.  Anyways - I'm really excited to get back on this and get it DONE for good!

Blog

I'm going back to Wordpress for blogging.  I keep trying to use blogger and it always disappoints.  I guess I'm just a wordpress kinda' gal!  My blog is at www.miaisneat.wordpress.com .  I've imported all my blog postings from this blog onto my wordpress blog.  I will still be following everybody from wordpress so I can still see what is going on. 

Diana

http://www.livestream.com/brixtv?utm_source=lsplayer&utm_medium=ui-play&utm_campaign=click-bait&utm_content=brixtv

This is a link to a streaming video of my friend, Diana's testimony.  This was recorded several months ago and is streaming over and over today.  More than likely, when you click the link you will be somewhere in the middle of the video.  Just let it play until the end and then it will start over at the beginning and you can see my beautiful friend in Christ.  

R2 VLCD Day 20

No change in weight today, but I kinda gave up a little last night though.  I ate some sugar free chocolates that were definitely not on protocol.  I noticed the difference in my attitude though, I wasn't eating them because I was sad about Diana, or because I'm PMSing (that's right, TOM is like a week late grrr), or because I was frustrated with gaining .6 lbs yesterday.  I ate them because they just sounded good.  I ate just a few and had no problems controlling myself from eating the whole bag.  I got no comfort from them, but didn't expect to either so I'm kind of excited to see that I was able to eat something because a little bit sounded good, rather than because I felt driven to eat it by some sick compulsion.

Still no word on Diana today.  Nobody in her family posted anything on Facebook yesterday (no prayer requests or anything, and normally they post a ton of those).  I think the Facebook radio silence is not a good sign.  Because she is/was in so much pain in the last few days, I hope the Lord takes her quickly if He hasn't already.  I'm not ready for the pain that we will all experience, but I'd rather be the one in pain than have her continue to live that way.  She's done her time now, and now her turn is over.  I guess the hardest part for me to deal with is thinking of her husband and kids.  I know that God is there to protect them but the kids...the kids at the funeral will absolutely kill me.  I attended a funeral a few years ago for Aaron's boss' wife, Debbie,  and I was okay until the family was ushered in.  Just one look at the kids and I lost it.  I had never even met Debbie but I will never forget her funeral for as long as I live.  She had so many amazing people who loved her, the church was huge and it was PACKED.  Diana's funeral will probably be the same way except this time I will know the person who died.  I warned Aaron that I'm going to carry a whole box of tissues in with me.  Screw the tiny travel pack.

R2 VLCD Day 19

Back in the 160's today (160.4 - this is my official LDW).  I still haven't started TOM so it kind of sucks that my weight is going up and down and back up and my LDW is going to be thrown off by all of this, but oh well.

Diana is going to die this week.  Probably today if she hasn't already died last night.  She is a 28 year old mother of two, and the perfect wife.  Her funeral will be one of the hardest days of my life.  I know she will finally be pain free and will be with Jesus, but the world still needs her!